Have you ever become so distant from someone you used to be so close to?
So distant you didn’t think you would ever be the same? I’m sure everyone’s been through something similar, but if not, I certainly have.
When we were younger, Taylor and I were the bestest of friends. Being 26 days apart and second cousins we had plenty of reasons to be close, biggest problem being that we have always lived an hour away from each-other. We’ve been best friends for as long as I can remember, so long that we used to have to communicate by either using our mom’s phone or, get this, a home phone! We also used to write letters back and forth and eventually we were using EMAIL or “Google chat”. Sounds like the stone ages! But the point is, it’s been a while!
When we were kids, we never fought! We would spend weeks at a time at each-others houses (homeschool perks!) and we always got along, which doesn’t sound very realistic, but it’s true. I can’t specifically remember one argument we had as children, however, that obviously changed as we got older and became different people. But throughout all of that, we still managed to stay best friends! We talked every single day, hung out as much as we possibly could, told each other every detail of everything and just did your average best friend things! She was the one person I could always count on. She was the one person who was, and is, always there for me, no matter what. Even when it got to the point that I wasn’t there for her…
I’m sure many of you can say that 2016 was one of the worst years of your life, and where I had many great moments, that was mostly true for me… last year was the year I destroyed our friendship and thought I lost her for sure.
I can’t necessarily tell you where it all started, because I don’t remember myself, but it was around spring time last year and once it began, it was all downhill from there. I was one of those girls who dropped everyone, and everything for a boy.
As I entered a new relationship, I began pushing Taylor out, becoming much more distant, and putting all of my effort into the relationship. Taylor and said boy had never really gotten along well so I guess I decided I had to choose, and as stupid as that sounds, I’m so emotionally driven, it all seemed to make sense at the time. That was until I had pushed her so far, I lost her. I had taken for granted the texts and times she cared and tried, and I just ignored and drifted away until I realized she was gone.
These were supposed to be the best months of our lives! Senior trip to Playlist Live in Florida, Senior Prom, and Highschool Gradation! Yet, we only talked the bare minimum, about those things, or to argue about anything. We weren’t close anymore, but in someways we had to be. As my relationship went through many things, and even until it came to an end, she was who I wanted to tell every detail to! But how could I do that? I didn’t care enough to listen to her when she needed me, I couldn’t run back only when I needed her.
I became great friends with someone else and I guess I began to try and replace her. All because I kept telling myself that it was the distance, that it was finally getting to us and now that I had friends at home, we were just drifting apart. Which I believe is where it started, but it became so much more than that. Months went on, several months, and during that, I was best friends with someone else, and Taylor and I never talked.
When you’re related and social media is a big part of life, it’s hard to really stay so far out of someones life, but I guess we did. We were still civil, we didn’t hate each-other by any means! We were just not close at all. Never did I think that the one person that knew every second of my life, would become someone I didn’t think I could talk to anymore. I didn’t mean to ruin everything. I didn’t mean for it to turn out this way.
By the end of the year, around October/November, we were talking again, rarely, but it wasn’t nothing. However, it also wasn’t the same at all. I didn’t know if it would ever be the same. We had talked about it many times before, and we kinda got closer every time we cried about it, but it wasn’t until December 29th that something I truly had given up on, happened.
You see, I truly believe that “Everything happens for a reason”, there’s no such thing as accidents. Throughout all of this, I knew it was in God’s plan, I just didn’t understand why. Why was my best friend suddenly a stranger? Why did He want this? Looking back now, I know why. Taylor and I are closer and better than we have EVER been before. I can see now that sometimes when it seems like everything is falling apart, it’s actually falling into place.
Surely you have seen Hannah Montana, right? The final episode of that show changed everything. Taylor was babysitting one night, and I get a text saying she’s watching the final episode of Hannah Montana and the whole Miley-Lily thing really got to her. In that moment, I cried more than I ever have over this, we talked more than we had talked in months, and I got my best friend back.
Eventually, everything connects. Nothing was an accident. I needed that relationship, it taught me a lot about myself. I gained so much from that new friendship, and will forever be close with her as well. What I now understand is that I needed to drift away, only to come back 10x stronger.
“So I’m moving on, letting go, holding on to tomorrow. I’ve always got the memories while I’m finding who I’m gonna be. We might be apart but I hope you always know, You’ll be with me. Wherever I go.”
What was once just another Hannah Montana song, is now a song that brings me so many emotions and memories. Taylor and I are now on the greatest path to, not only our friendship, but our lives! Things we always dreamed of, but kind of lost hope of, are now beginning to come true!
Sometimes, the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us.
(Dear Taylor, thank you for not giving up on me! I’m so excited to continue life with you and do everything we’ve ever dreamed, and more. I love you so much! I’m sorry for everything I put you through, but I know it can only get better from here! *snap snap, clap clap, bum bum bum, we rock.*)
Today’s challenge: Forgive yourself and be forgiven.
Stay friends! -Kennedy 🙂
Be sure to check out Taylor’s post as well!